I'm exhausted literally collapsing 2 mins later.. but then i'm loving my life... I feel so fufilled for today , like it ended with a bang in my heart...

I've officially got myself out of the trauma whereby i'm struggling with some thoughts that i cant get myself out of ....

I didnt really totally figure what i was thinking out though , but i think i will just leave it this way ... i'm loving my life now though .. sometimes i just need to know i can be who i wanna be ... what i enjoy to do...

Anyway , it's end of school term and our school has achieved golds for all 3 uniform group.. IIt's the first time NPCC got gold in our school's history, my pricipal was so proud of them cause they made a history for WRS... We're all celebrating , no maybe i should say they .. I guess at least for NPCC it's such an acheivement , it's an example , it's an breakthough to NPCC...cause it's our first... It's so funny , cause if i were to still stay fervently in the NPCC , i would have been with my squat mates celebrating it .. I was from the cadet who rose to sergent for today who got the glory for bringing NPCC to the peak of it ...

Thinking back , i was so fervent , i was so passionate for NPCC and if i were to stick to it , i would have made it .. but at the same time , i look at my own beliefts , and i know i gotta choose when i come to sec 3 .. No one knew about the ultimate reason of quitting it , people thought i was a slacker , and i just let them think whatever they want... I didnt even really talk to Lynette about it , i see there's no need doing it at that point of time to really show everyone who much i lay down for God .. I dont need to show people how much i do . I just need to shift everything away so that nothing pulls me away for the Lover of my life.. It's just this simple . I know it's between me and God ... and only both of us... we just no need to show every one and prove to everyone what we're doing to impress them... And there comes an opportunity where by i can use by low blood pressure to quit it ... So i did it ..

Looking at the achievement i could have got .. I know i could have made it to the chairperson or the vice chair of NPCC easily , since i started off real well , getting involve in so many things and still top my class like nobody business... ( Not anymore though ) It was easy for me at that time .. cause i mugged and threw eunice out of my house when she visited me and disturbed me when i was studying...

I was sitting on quadrangle , looking on my ex-squat mate who's delivering the speech , there's this nudge and tug in my heart.. I smiled to myself and i'm so glad i chose something greater than that .. I've never regretted quitting it even though my cca points suffered badly and people think of me differently after that... To them i'm so hypocrite , or some christian siao .. i stil remember the blue note book that my NCO made me write so that i can look back .. He wants to know us more so he made us write it .. It's like a diary ... we're this close..



So i told him i will not ever quit NPCC in my life cause it's what i've been looking for .. I love the sound of banging together , i love unity , i love bonding...

My love didnt change up till now , but maybe is the way i look for it is much more different i guess.. I dont know what is it to them.. But then to me i'm having the bang together and impacting people in the way that's greater than that , that's what i wanted at least...

I'm so proud that i've made a decision not to choose it though , i was proud of myself when i was sitting on the red concrete in the morning . I looked at myself when i was 14 or maybe 15 ... I made such a radical decision ... I never thought i was good until i ponder over it in class... I guess it's the challenge we face during every phrase of our life .. I guess it's really what we want .

In my life i asked myself several times " I really want that ?" But i asked myself differently when i face different stuff . when i was weary i asked myself do i really want that ? Maybe i dont , maybe i was deluded.. But during this time when i was sober but still troubled and tired , i asked myself again is it what i wanted ? Then i smiled and told God , it is , and i start putting things down for God...

Maybe it's never the question that devil pop into our minds ... But it's the answer we give ... Devil can never take away things from us and lead us astray only if we let him.. he only can sow thoughts , but ultimately it's us who has the last say....

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I'm exhausted literally collapsing 2 mins later.. but then i'm loving my life... I feel so fufilled for today , like it ended with a bang in my heart...

I've officially got myself out of the trauma whereby i'm struggling with some thoughts that i cant get myself out of ....

I didnt really totally figure what i was thinking out though , but i think i will just leave it this way ... i'm loving my life now though .. sometimes i just need to know i can be who i wanna be ... what i enjoy to do...

Anyway , it's end of school term and our school has achieved golds for all 3 uniform group.. IIt's the first time NPCC got gold in our school's history, my pricipal was so proud of them cause they made a history for WRS... We're all celebrating , no maybe i should say they .. I guess at least for NPCC it's such an acheivement , it's an example , it's an breakthough to NPCC...cause it's our first... It's so funny , cause if i were to still stay fervently in the NPCC , i would have been with my squat mates celebrating it .. I was from the cadet who rose to sergent for today who got the glory for bringing NPCC to the peak of it ...

Thinking back , i was so fervent , i was so passionate for NPCC and if i were to stick to it , i would have made it .. but at the same time , i look at my own beliefts , and i know i gotta choose when i come to sec 3 .. No one knew about the ultimate reason of quitting it , people thought i was a slacker , and i just let them think whatever they want... I didnt even really talk to Lynette about it , i see there's no need doing it at that point of time to really show everyone who much i lay down for God .. I dont need to show people how much i do . I just need to shift everything away so that nothing pulls me away for the Lover of my life.. It's just this simple . I know it's between me and God ... and only both of us... we just no need to show every one and prove to everyone what we're doing to impress them... And there comes an opportunity where by i can use by low blood pressure to quit it ... So i did it ..

Looking at the achievement i could have got .. I know i could have made it to the chairperson or the vice chair of NPCC easily , since i started off real well , getting involve in so many things and still top my class like nobody business... ( Not anymore though ) It was easy for me at that time .. cause i mugged and threw eunice out of my house when she visited me and disturbed me when i was studying...

I was sitting on quadrangle , looking on my ex-squat mate who's delivering the speech , there's this nudge and tug in my heart.. I smiled to myself and i'm so glad i chose something greater than that .. I've never regretted quitting it even though my cca points suffered badly and people think of me differently after that... To them i'm so hypocrite , or some christian siao .. i stil remember the blue note book that my NCO made me write so that i can look back .. He wants to know us more so he made us write it .. It's like a diary ... we're this close..



So i told him i will not ever quit NPCC in my life cause it's what i've been looking for .. I love the sound of banging together , i love unity , i love bonding...

My love didnt change up till now , but maybe is the way i look for it is much more different i guess.. I dont know what is it to them.. But then to me i'm having the bang together and impacting people in the way that's greater than that , that's what i wanted at least...

I'm so proud that i've made a decision not to choose it though , i was proud of myself when i was sitting on the red concrete in the morning . I looked at myself when i was 14 or maybe 15 ... I made such a radical decision ... I never thought i was good until i ponder over it in class... I guess it's the challenge we face during every phrase of our life .. I guess it's really what we want .

In my life i asked myself several times " I really want that ?" But i asked myself differently when i face different stuff . when i was weary i asked myself do i really want that ? Maybe i dont , maybe i was deluded.. But during this time when i was sober but still troubled and tired , i asked myself again is it what i wanted ? Then i smiled and told God , it is , and i start putting things down for God...

Maybe it's never the question that devil pop into our minds ... But it's the answer we give ... Devil can never take away things from us and lead us astray only if we let him.. he only can sow thoughts , but ultimately it's us who has the last say....

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